Meghan Ely, OFD Consulting
Planning a wedding means juggling a thousand decisions at once, from the big stuff like venue and guest count to the tiny details like linens and welcome-bag snacks. With so many trends floating around, it’s easy to reach decision overwhelm somewhere in the process, which is typically when something slips through the cracks.
Wedding pros see the same regrets come up again and again, whether it’s a moment that didn’t get captured or a splurge that wasn’t worth it in hindsight. We asked planners, photographers, and other industry experts to share what couples wish they’d done differently, so you can plan a day you’ll look back on without the “if only we had…”
Not booking vendors early enough
It’s one of the first things couples hear when they get engaged, and it’s also one of the easiest things to put off: book your vendors early. The best photographers, florists, and bands tend to get snapped up fast, especially for popular wedding months.
Alicia Igess, Owner and Operator of Alicia Igess, emphasizes, “Couples wait too long to book, and then the stylist or artist they truly wanted is unavailable. They end up with someone they found at the last minute, and it shows. Book your glam team early, book the person you actually want, and you will never have to settle for someone you have to make do with.”
Waiting means couples end up choosing from whoever’s left instead of who they wanted, and that’s a hard thing to shake on your big day. If there’s a dream vendor on your list, reaching out sooner rather than later can save you from that “what if” thinking down the road.
Not enough time together as a couple
Wedding days move fast, and it’s amazing how easy it is to lose track of your own partner in the middle of it. Many couples look back and realize they barely got a moment alone together until the very end of the night (if at all!).
“The most common regret I see is not protecting enough uninterrupted time together as a couple during the day,” shares Julian Ribinik, Creative Director at Julian Ribinik Studios. “Between family portraits, cocktail hour, and the reception, couples often tell me afterward that the day felt like a literal blur and they barely had a moment to just breathe with each other.”
This is why so many planners now build in intentional pockets of time, whether that’s a private first look or even ten minutes tucked away during the reception. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture, but a moment where it’s only the two of you before you’re pulled back into celebrating.
Not enough photography hours
Photography is something couples don’t want to skimp on, and yet it’s where budgets get trimmed first. The trouble is, a shorter photography package can mean missing key moments because the coverage window closes before the day does.
Mary Angelini, Owner of Key Moment Films, notes, “Reducing hours of photography and videography can help lower the budget, but there is a downside to saving money by cutting coverage. Often, couples after the wedding wish they had more photos and video clips. Not one couple I have ever worked with has regretted having too many memories to re-watch.”
Photos are really the only thing that stick around forever, long after the flowers wilt and the cake is gone. Giving your photographer enough time to capture the full arc of the day can be what separates a complete wedding album from one that leaves couples wishing they had more.
Not providing a detailed shot list
Even fantastic photographers can’t read minds. Couples assume their photographer will naturally capture every important moment or relationship, but without guidance, small yet meaningful things can get missed.
“Looking back at the wedding, the photos that were NOT taken can easily become a sore subject,” confirms Kelley Nudo, Client Relations & Operations Director at Momental Designs. “As stationers, we hear from couples who regret forgetting to provide the invitation suite to the photographer for flat lay photos or not getting a single shot of their reception table.”
A shot list doesn’t have to be exhaustive, but it does need to flag the people and moments that matter most to you. Handing that over ahead of time takes the guesswork out of the day and gives your photographer the freedom to focus on capturing genuine moments instead of worrying about who they might forget to photograph.
Not hiring a videographer at all
Photos capture the look of a wedding day, but video captures the feel of it: the sound of laughter during the toasts, the way a song filled the dance floor, the vows read in real time. Couples who skip on video tend to regret it down the line, once the initial excitement has faded and all that’s left are the memories.
Penny Haas, Owner, Lead Planner at Penny Haas, LLC, says, “The most common regret that I see is not getting a videographer. The couple goes over the decision, or does not think of having a live video of the wedding, but the thought of seeing some intimate or energetic moments with friends and family can really bring a smile to your face.”
Even a short highlight reel can bring a day back to life in a way photos alone can’t. Years from now, being able to hear your vows or watch your grandparents dance tends to matter more than the line item ever did.
Not enough professional support
DIY-ing parts of a wedding can seem like a great way to save money and add a personal touch, but it can also backfire when there’s no one dedicated to running the show. Couples who skip hiring professional help end up fielding questions and troubleshooting on their wedding day.
“Your time on the wedding day is incredibly precious,” reminds Elizabeth Hoard, Owner of Elizabeth Hoard Photography. “Hiring experienced, qualified wedding professionals who can guide you in how to intentionally maximize that time – and help you create the experience you envision– is worth every penny.”
Even a day-of coordinator can make a massive difference, giving couples permission to be present rather than manage logistics. Looking back, most couples say they wish they’d handed off more, not less.
Not investing in the guest experience
It’s easy to get caught up in the visual details of a wedding, like the florals, linens, and lighting, and forget that guests remember how they felt more than how everything looked. A wedding that’s stunning but leaves guests standing around bored or unsure of what to do next doesn’t always land the way couples hoped.
Lucy Struve, Owner of Lucy Struve Photography, admits, “Many couples regret not prioritizing their guest experience more. For couples who desire to be good hosts, there’s no worse feeling than finding out weeks or months after your wedding day that your guests were uncomfortable. Whether it’s cold towels or sun umbrellas on a hot day or hiring enough bartenders to cut down lines, small adjustments in the planning process can make a big impact.”
Remember: Guest experience doesn’t mean extravagance. Tiny touches here and there go a long way and can be the difference between an event people admire and one they still talk about years later.
Not sticking to their own vision
Couples can lose sight of what they wanted amid a flood of trends and opinions. Outside input, whether from family, friends, or endless scrolling, can pull a wedding further from what the couple originally envisioned.
“Stay true to yourselves & what matters most to you,” encourages Jessica LaBanz, Wedding Planner at La Valse Events. “This phase of your life will always usher in other people’s insights and opinions, warranted or not. At the end of the day, what may have been a regret for someone else might not be a regret to you.”
Weddings are most meaningful when they reflect the couple getting married instead of a collection of borrowed ideas. Trusting your own instincts, even when they go against the grain, tends to be what couples are happiest about as time goes on.
Not being flexible
Weddings rarely go exactly as planned, and the couples who handle that best are the ones who went in expecting a few surprises. Random blips will happen, and holding too tightly to a perfect vision can turn a small hiccup into a source of stress.
Emily Reno, Owner of The Vegas Planners, explains, “There are so many things on a wedding day that are outside of your control, and the more flexible you can be, the more you’ll actually enjoy the experience. Focus on the reason you’re there, marrying the person you love, and try not to let minor inconveniences steal your attention from the moments that truly matter.”
The couples who look back on their day happiest let go and trust their team to adapt in the moment. Bonus: some of the best stories from wedding days are the ones where something didn’t go as planned, and everyone rolled with it anyway.
Every one of these regrets is avoidable, and now you’ve got a head start. A little intention, whether that’s booking early or trusting your gut on what feels right, can make all the difference between a wedding you loved and one you’re wildly, unforgettably proud of. So take these lessons, run with them, and get ready to plan a day that feels every bit as joyful as the moment you said yes!
Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and marketing firm OFD Consulting and the founder of OFD Collective, a membership community for wedding pros looking to elevate their visibility. She’s a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.
