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How To Make Your Vows Say WOW

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Today’s weddings are all about personalization—finding creative ways to reflect your personality and engaging your guests through the process. One of the best ways to do this is by writing your own vows. Not only does this help you avoid sounding like everyone else, it provides you with the opportunity to put your unique spin on the ceremony and express yourself in a meaningful way.

Sometimes writing your own vows is easier said than done. If the thought of sharing your innermost thoughts sounds stressful, please don’t worry. Writing your own vows can be a fun and rewarding experience. Here are seven ways to get you there by Holly Blum, A Speech To Remember and grab a tissue for some of these photos by South Florida Wedding Photographer Reem Photography.

1. Get inspired.

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Before you start writing, look at examples of other vows for inspiration. They can be from your own religion, or even from a favorite book or movie. When you find what resonates with you, ask yourself what it is about the words or tone that strikes a chord with you. Remember this when you start writing.

2. Consider tone. 

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Think about how you want to sound. Do you want to be funny? Romantic? Traditional? Whimsical? If you are planning to keep the vows a secret from your fiancé, it may be a good idea to have a trusted friend read both sets of vows in advance to make sure they are not too similar. 

3. Reminisce.

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Take a walk down memory lane to remember the highlights and lowlights of your relationship. How did you meet and fall in love? How do make your relationship thrive? What do you love and respect most about your partner? How have you grown together over time? Use these memories as a bridge to the actual writing process.

4. Promises, promises, promises.

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Please keep in mind that vows are meant to be promises. Think about exactly what you’re promising to do, but be careful not to sound too cliché or general. “I promise to be there for you in good times and bad times” may be too close to the lyrics from “That’s What Friends Are For.” But, “I promise to remember the happiness I feel at this very moment and take it with me throughout our life together” is a more specific way to express your love. 

5. Write it down.

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Now that you’ve settled on your memories and promises, it’s time to put everything on paper. There are many ways to structure your vows, some more linear than others. One of my favorite ways is to start with a short story or anecdote that captures the essence of your relationship and tie back to the same story at the end of your vows. In between you can express your gratitude for your partner and state your actual vows. 

6. Keep it short and sweet.

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As a general guideline, keep your vows under two minutes in length. It’s best to say what you want to say succinctly so that the ceremony doesn’t drag on. The best way to stick to the time limit is to time yourself while you practice aloud. 

7. Have a contingency plan.

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No matter how much you practice, it’s quite possible that your emotions will overwhelm you on your big day. It may be worth asking the officiant or a close friend or family member to serve as a backup reader just in case. Just make sure you share a copy of the vows in advance so they are prepared if they need to step in for you.

Writing your own vows can infuse your wedding ceremony with personal flair, share your most cherished promises to your future spouse and invite your guests to join you on this emotional journey. With enough thought and preparation, you can keep the process enjoyable and make sure the finished product has wow factor.

Need some tips on the perfect wedding toast? Take a look at Holly's recent post Five Easy Ways To Give A Winning Toast and follow her at @aspeechtoremember.

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