How to Deal with Family Drama During Wedding Planning
Photo: Rakicevic Nenad on Unsplash
The royals just confirmed that they’re, in fact, just like us… they have family drama too. And it’s starting to complicate the wedding planning process for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (well, not really, these two seem extraordinarily chill about everything on the road to the altar). According to The Daily Mail, Harry has shut down all the rumors about Fergie being left off the guest list, and made certain that his Aunt will receive an invitation to the May 19th celebration. Despite turning Buckingham and Kensington Palace into a total s*** show in the process…
We have all been there, either talking to our future spouses about the guest list and getting pissed about one of their girl or guy friends attending the wedding, or starting to have conversations with our parents about which family and friends will be invited. I mean, in general, just having divorced parents can create total chaos for the couple getting married - I’ll raise my hand here! I was a nervous wreck thinking about how my parents would behave (and to their credit, I really shouldn’t have been, they get along decently well and realized very early on that it was my day, and they wouldn’t have any part in making it stressful for me). Some couples have estranged relatives who they want to invite, but need to put out a few family fires before that happens. Others need to create special cadences to ensure their unwanted friend or family member can be there, with special considerations.
And for Harry and Meghan it’s been the same way. Though Fergie has basically been cast out of the family since a series of unfortunate misbehavings following her split from Prince Andrew, Harry has remained close with his Aunt and didn’t even consider not inviting her to the party. His father, Prince Charles and grandfather, Prince Philip, don’t approve of his preference, but this redhead doesn’t seem to care. 👏👏👏
We’d like to say that every couple could follow in Harry’s footsteps with their own family struggs, but it’s just not that easy sometimes. Especially when it comes to footing the bill. If your family is helping to finance the wedding, they do have SOME say in who gets invited or who shouldn’t even be considered. So, we put some quick tips together on how to deal when family drama is harshing your planning process.
Think about a compromise. Some have said that Fergie might just be invited to the after party (along with 600+ of their family, friends, colleagues and confidants), but obvi Harry wants his Aunt to come to the ceremony too. But this is an option, especially if your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, etc. has serious issues with partying alongside that particular person. Maybe just invite them to the ceremony, allllll eyes will be on you and your union, anyway, so the other pettiness doesn’t have place there.
Make some concessions. If you do get your family’s greenlight to invite someone who they can’t stand (due to divorce, debaucherous behavior, a falling out on someone’s part, etc.), then do them a favor and make it easier on everyone by finessing the seating arrangements to ensure they sit far away from each other. And don’t have stress about awkward encounters.
Include the person elsewhere. If it really comes down to needing to nix them from the guest list entirely (seriously, bad blood in the family, especially, runs realllll deep), then figure out another venue or occasion to include them. Go out to dinner or have breakfast with them and share all the details about your wedding plans or show off your new wedding bands after the fact and fill them in on the day. They’ll appreciate that you made an effort, and they’ll want to know everything anyway!
Have a heart to heart with the haters. If you’re really feeling adamant about a certain someone getting an invite to your big day, then express that to your seemingly-scorned family and be honest about your reasons why you want them there. Be gentle and delicate about the discussion and don’t attack them, just explain yourself and make it clear to them that it IS your wedding, and you want the people you cherish most to be attendance. Sometimes these ‘come to Jesus’ moments are hundo p necessary.
Celebrate more than once. Let’s be honest, they’re royals, they can probably have five wedding celebrations if they wanted to. And with so many names on their A, B, and C lists, it even makes sense to host a handful of wedding parties to placate ALL of the people. So, if you’re stressing, just think about ways to wed again. Even if one of those is just a microwedding, it’s still special!!