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Should You Involve Friends and Family with Wedding Planning?

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Your engagement season is a time to celebrate and surround yourself with friends and family as you look ahead to your upcoming nuptials. Celebratory dinners and parties are expected, but is it wise to involve them when it comes to planning the wedding?

The answer greatly depends on your existing relationships with your loved ones. It can mean a lot for them to feel included in the process, but if someone oversteps, it can lead to unnecessary stress and tension. However, you may find it valuable to have a sounding board to discuss ideas and ask for feedback from trusted people in your corner.

“Talking through things with friends and family can help you figure out what direction you want to go, especially if you\'re on the fence about a certain item or detail,” says Mandy Hess of MJM Designs. It can be especially beneficial to lean on those who have gone through the wedding planning process and can offer tips and vendor referrals.

It’s true — we can all get by with a little help from our friends (and family). However, Michelle Vining of LOLA Event Productions cautions against involving too many people in the planning process. “Weddings involve a lot of decisions, and if inviting too many opinions, your decisions about what you truly want could become clouded by trying to please someone else,” she explains.

Choosing appropriate responsibilities for your loved ones is key to balancing their involvement with a stress-free planning journey. Here are four areas to include your friends and family without inviting unwarranted opinions.

Selecting your day-of attire

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If you want to include loved ones in the planning process, your close friends and family members will love the opportunity to help pick out your wedding day wardrobe.

“With suit shopping and dress shopping, it can mean a lot to loved ones to feel involved in the process,” confirms Megan Breukelman of Megan & Kenneth.

Better yet, turn it into an outing for your VIPs. Schedule an appointment with a bridal or menswear shop, then plan a self-care day around it with lunch and a trip to a spa or golf course. Just like that, a planning task becomes a memorable experience for everyone!

Doing DIY projects

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Many couples enjoy incorporating do-it-yourself details into their wedding day to save money and add their personal touch. But DIY projects take time, and it helps to have a few extra hands for support.

“If you know you want to DIY some of your wedding day details and decor, enlist the help of your wedding party or close family members,” recommends Jen Avey of Destination Weddings Travel Group. “Make it fun (and efficient) by hosting a small get-together so everyone is involved who wants to be.”

Who can refuse a slumber party with snacks, movies, and crafts? Whether you’re DIYing centerpieces or welcome bags, gather your supplies in advance and provide instructions to ensure consistency. Then, have fun with your squad!

Finalizing invitations

From collecting addresses to sealing envelopes, invitations involve a multi-step process — but you don’t have to do it all alone. Delegating invitation-related tasks will help shorten your to-do list while providing your loved ones with essential responsibilities.

First off, Kelley Nudo of Momental Designs suggests recruiting a few people to proofread your invitations before sending them to the printer. “The more eyes on the stationery, the better it is to help catch any typos, misspellings, or inaccurate information,” she states.

But that’s not all! Nudo also recommends asking loved ones to help compile an address list for save-the-dates and invitations. “Creating a mailing list can sometimes be a challenge, so having several people reach out to the guests to confirm their most up-to-date address can make this task a bit easier,” she says.

You can also enlist loved ones to help assemble, seal, and mail invitations (just make sure to provide postage). Preparing invitations might seem insignificant, but it’s one of the most critical steps in planning a wedding — you’ll need all the help you can get!

Creating the playlist

Music selection is another low-hanging fruit for loved ones to contribute. Plus, you’ll know that your favorite people will fill the dance floor when their song comes on!

“For those wanting a lower-effort way to include family members, have family collect song recommendations for your wedding playlist,” Breukelman suggests. “If music is big in your circle, this can be a fun way to get loved ones involved at arm\'s reach.”

If specific genres or songs are off-limits, provide clear guidelines for song recommendations (and perhaps a reminder that music should be appropriate for kids and grandparents). Beyond that, let them build your wedding playlist with their top tunes!

Selecting attire, completing DIY projects, finalizing invitations, and choosing songs — all of these are excellent ways to involve your inner circle while maintaining complete control over your wedding day plans.

That’s why Loni Peterson of LP Creative Events suggests limiting involvement to tasks with a lower impact on the overall vibe of your wedding. “Try to keep design decisions to you, your partner, and your wedding planner,” she says. “Having someone else\'s design POV weigh in could make your look and feel sway too far from your visions.”

Involving friends and family in your wedding planning can be a sweet way to share the joy and lighten the load. However, it’s vital to strike a balance to ensure their input enhances (rather than overwhelms) your vision. By assigning specific and manageable tasks, you can create memorable moments together while maintaining the essence of your special day.

Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after industry speaker, and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.

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