5. Set Boundaries And Be Independent
Autonomy is so IMPORTANT. It is so easy to get caught up in LOVE and spending time with your person. But don’t forget that it is important to keep your same routines and social habits if they are meaningful and important to you…..meaning if you grab drinks at Happy Hour with your girls on Wednesday night….honor that if you enjoy spending time with your friends and
taking time for yourself. Don’t give in to guilt trips.
Dang we were so bummed when we found out about Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. Their love felt so real and that they were the ultimate Hollywood couple. Relatable, lovable and just down right likable.
Sadly, they ruined our dream and are ending their marriage. Although don't know Chris or Anna, we do know that they reached a point in their relationship in which there was no return. How does this happen? How can this be avoided? We cannot speak for them, but our dear friend Gloria from Heal Wellness might have some insight on how to avoid the relationship pitfalls.
Photo: Chris & Anna
Gloria confided in me that things have been off between her and her husband for quite some time. They've been in couples therapy for awhile and climbed some major relationship mountains, but the hike is no where near over.
With this in mind I asked her, "what would you have done differently in your relationship before getting married." She shared with 7 tips to saving your marriage.
Photographers: Filipe Almeida
1. Talk About Everything
Seriously, even the hard stuff. In the primary stages of a relationship creating intimacy is very important and I don’t mean the
“getting freaky” kind of intimacy. When you are together, fill your time with sharing about your hopes and dreams;
talk about your vision of what having a family looks like; talk about finances and what the dynamics surrounding that look like to you.
Don’t save the hard stuff for after you get married. Let him know how much your jeans cost and that you have a Macy's card that might be maxed out. Trust me! The hard stuff only gets HARDER, and shi**t will hit the fan when he finds out that your spent $189 on those jeans.
2. Don't Have Separate Bank Accounts
Talking finances can be scary territory. It is easy to believe that separate accounts is the best idea, however it can mean separate lives. When there are separate finances, it is easy to keep purchases secret for fear of shame or punishment. Live by the motto - what is mine is yours and what is yours is mine. If you're ready for this, than your marriage will have a solid foundation.
3. Looking Through Your Partners Phone
Don’t go looking for something that isn’t there. Snooping is a terrible idea. It is so easy to read into something that is not what you may interpret it to be. You don’t hear the tones. You may not understand “inside jokes” and take them to be literal. There are so many opportunities for misunderstanding. Respect your partners right for privacy and realize that their life also exists outside of your relationship.It's a gateway behavior to a never ending dark hole. Trust in your person and know that your love can stand the test of text messages and social media. Together your love is strong.
4. Learn How To Fight And Repair
Fighting and arguing are not necessarily a bad thing. They are actually quite healthy if followed up with repair. Take into consideration that sometimes people
need different amounts of time to clear their heads and calm down before the repair can happen. Respect each other's space and always make sure to repair and get closure. Never go to bed angry or give someone the silent treatment, ignore their texts or put their calls to voice mail. This to shall pass and remember you love each other.
I can not stress this enough. Learn to laugh and make fun of the silly things you fight about. It is important to laugh together, not at each other in a harmful way. Life is too short to hold grudges.
7. Striving For Perfection Is A Waste Of Time
Nothing is perfect. And you shouldn’t strive for a fantasy of what you believe perfect is. Be present in the NOW. Learn to be grateful even when it is bad because when it is good….it will have a deeper meaning and significance for you.