Photo: Lane Dittoe Weddings
When you're hopelessly in love, sometimes you overlook some important aspects of life. Ok, maybe not YOU, but some people do. It's really difficult to ask questions to which you may not want to hear the answer. Before you take the plunge, we suggest having a very open and honest conversation with your partner. Here are our top five topics that should be addressed and discussed before marriage. After you have this talk, be sure to go over your communication skills. But first, get cozy with your partner and have these very important discussions before you decide to get married.
Do You Agree On Offspring?
Do you want to have children? This is a subject sometimes is just assumed. Like everyone is supposed to have kids or something. Sometimes we don't listen to what our partner saying when he/she says he does/doesn't want to have children. We don't listen and we think our partner will change based on our needs. This is not always the case. Some people change over time, but not all.
How Will You Handle The In-Laws?
Do you like my family? Do I like yours? Will we be able to share holidays and have family time or do we have to isolate ourselves because one or both of us don't get along with the other's family? Being able to integrate into a loving family is ideal, but sometimes we get in our own way which can harbor resentment and make for awkward family meet ups. This is a very important discussion to have before you get married. Be clear with your expectations about family time and holidays so it's not a source of anger every time a special occasion comes around. Make a plan. Get cozy and discuss these five things before you get married.
How Will You Handle The Finances?
Money can be a touchy subject for most and a huge source of frustration for couples. Decide early on if you will share your money. If one partner is good with money and the other irresponsible, it does not always make sense to share. Decide on a baseline amount that requires a discussion. For example, if either partner wants to spend over $300 (or whatever you decide) then the other partner needs to discuss that purchase.
Where Will You Root Yourselves?
Where will you plant your roots? Are you from the same hometown? Did you meet in college, but lived across the country? Maybe you even live in different countries now. It's a good idea to discuss where you both would like to settle down. You could be wanderers for all I know, if so, then this does not apply to you.
How do you give and receive love?
How do you show and receive love? Being able to recognize these thing about yourself and your partner are very valuable. If your partner shows you love in one way, but you receive love in a different way - you may feel that you aren't being shown love. That will breed some serious resentment and fuel a lot of phone calls to mom, sisters and girlfriends. Ask your partner how he/she receives love. Tell your partner the way that you receive love. Trust me, you want to know and so do they.