noun / a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
Photo By: Tanja Heffner on Unsplash
Having a healthy ego is great in so many areas of life. Displaying confidence in social settings, parenting and work situations is super positive, but the ego is not always so helpful in our relationships. Why? I'm so glad you asked. Our ego can be like a big jerk that forces us to choose pride over joy. Here are a few ways your ego can screw up your relationship. When we let our ego lead us, we really end up spiting and hurting ourselves maybe even more than others. Rest easy, we've got solutions for that pesky ego so read on.
When you can't just say sorry
Your ego can drive your partner away from you, especially when you can't acknowledge that you've made a mistake. We always want to think that we're right and we know best. Sometimes we don't, and it's a hit to the ego to admit that we were wrong. It feels more important to protect our ego than to admit someone else was right. Who cares about being right when everyone's unhappy? Admit you're wrong and move on.
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Try this when you find yourself in the wrong:
Say I'm sorry and just see what happens, but be sure that you mean it. It's so simple and it is.
When you suffer in silence
Oh, the silent treatment. Your ego can make you behave in a way that
hurts you as much, if not more
than your partner. Well, that's really stupid. Now everyone's hurting. When's the last time you gave someone the silent treatment and felt really good yourself? Get back to me on that one. JK, we already know the answer. Never, it's never. You have never felt really good on the inside when offering up the silent treatment. So knock that off right now. It's tough to break the ice after silence, but it will feel better the moment you do it.
Photo by: Tanja Heffner on Unsplash
Try this when you find yourself suffering in silence:
Say I'm sorry, can we talk? Then hold hands and make out.
When you withhold sex and intimacy
Your ego can mess up your sex life ROYALLY. You have a fight and everyone is unhappy. To get back at your partner, you withhold sex. No bueno. Sex is important in relationships. No, I don't just mean the physical act. I mean what it represents and where it leads. Let me explain. Sex is fun and feels good and all that, but it also brings intimacy and closeness to your relationship. When you have closeness, you create a space to be vulnerable and feel safe communicating. When you can communicate, you strengthen your relationship and love for each other. So the moral of the story is have a lot of sex in your loving committed relationship.
Photo By: Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash
Try this when you have a fight:
Say I'm sorry. Then communicate your feelings. Bow chicka bow wow.
* Before you freak out on me, I know sex doesn't solve relationship problems but consider my point above about intimacy and closeness.
If you want more thoughts on a healthy relationship and
dating fun here are
5 Things that are YOUR Responsibility in a Relationship and
50 things to do besides going out to drink
. If you want to share your best relationship tips with me, I'd love to hear. You can