Disappointed with your engagement ring?—Here’s What to Do
Valentine’s Day 2023 has come and gone and with it came a wave of new engagements. First, let us say congrats to all the new spouses-to-be on finding your forever person! Now, let’s get down to the dirty business, if you’re reading this, you probably haven’t slept since and that new piece of jewelry is searing into your skin as we speak. You don't feel as elated as Bayley does above. She had the sweetest beach proposal and is head over heels in love with her Kristin Coffin engagement ring from Justin.
Or, maybe you’ve been engaged for a while now and have been secretly mulling over this dilemma for months. You love your person, but your ring–not so much. Don’t worry this is a safe space, though we do recommend deleting your browsing history and opening this article back up in an incognito window.
There, that’s better…now it’s a safe space.
Let’s get it all out there. The moment you had been waiting for and the joy you felt when you saw them get down on one knee was quickly overshadowed by the feeling of your stomach plummeting through your mid-section when you realized your ring just wasn’t “you”. That’s ok. People don’t talk about it much, but it’s totally normal! And that dread you’re feeling–a totally NORMAL reaction.
You just did not get the engagement ring you really wanted. The engagement ring you actually wanted was the Artemis by Kristin Coffin. A Pear shaped ring inspired by the Greek goddess of archery.
So what do you do?
Well, first let’s start with what you don’t do. You definitely don’t bring it up right away. Take a breath, enjoy the moment. Even though diamonds are forever, the design of the ring doesn’t have to be.
Remember, you’re saying yes to them, not the ring–that’s just an added perk. After the confetti has settled and you’ve had enough time to soak up all of those newly engaged feels, it’s time to get down to business.
Know what you want
First things first, don’t bring up changing your ring until you actually know what you want. If you still don’t know, sometimes it’s easier to think about what you don’t like about the current design and work backward from there.
Start a secret Pinterest board and find some inspiration images. Maybe you like the shape of the center stone, but just want to change the color or design of the setting. Maybe you've had your heart set on a 1.5 ct double diamond ring or you just really envisioned yourself wearing a non-traditional wedding band.
Brooching the subject
Now for the awkward part, bringing it up. As much as we wish you could just change the ring yourself and never mention it, chances are, they’d notice. And when you’re starting a marriage, honesty truly is the best policy. You can start it with something like:
“Hey babe, can I ask you something that may be a bit awkward? Would you be super offended if I change ________________________(insert part of ring that you want to change here, ie: the band, the color, the shape) of my engagement ring?”
Take a minute and gauge their reaction. You can follow up by saying something like:
“I found the perfect wedding band and I just want to make sure they go together.” Or come up with some other rational reason for the change like “I want it to match the color of my grandma’s earrings that I was going to wear.”
Pretty much anything but the fact that you don’t like it. We know we just told you to be honest, but the truth will do, we never said it had to be the whole truth. Now, they’re bound to be a little hurt, but that’s ok and also completely normal. To ease the blow, have them help you with the redesign. Show them some of your inspiration photos and work together to come up with a plan. Sometimes it is impossible to alter a ring’s design or it just isn’t cost-effective. So, returning/exchanging the ring is also an option and most jewelers allow returns and exchanges for up to 30 days from the date of purchase.
We know all of that is easier said than done, but you CAN do this. Your engagement ring is something you should be able to wear and show off with pride, your partner wants you to love it too! Good luck, we’re there with you in spirit.