Not sure why there isn’t one already, but you know that “I can’t keep calm I’m getting married” meme? Well, the more appropriate mood right now is more like “I can’t keep calm I’m planning during a pandemic.” We really wish we had more answers and resolve for our couples with weddings on the books for the next few weeks and months, but unfortunately, every day the status of the states and abroad is changing and the uncertainty we’re living in is just absolutely awful. That’s why we figured instead of giving brides a blueprint of “how to proceed with a 2020 wedding” (LBH, sometimes things are so crazy and up in the air that making predictions can end up proving misleading), we’d talk more about ways we can all support each other at this time.
As much as people have been saying “your grandparents were called to war, you were called to sit on the couch, do your part,” having a wedding that you’ve been planning for weeks, months, years, even, fall victim to corona just flat out sucks. We’re so so sorry and if we can be of any help, please let us know - we’re checking our DMs, we’re reading your comments on everything that goes up on the Gram and elsewhere - we’re the biggest ‘all in this together’ believers. Putting that into the universe and just hoping for the best!
Yes, I’ll be the first to admit, I can’t even fathom what it must feel like to be wedding planning like a boss for X amount of time, finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel, only to realize that that best day ever is highly unlikely to happen (that is, at least for the very immediate future). It’s a harshhhh, but very plausible reality these days. And sure, quarantining at home isn’t the end of the world, it can actually even be fun - what with the current bevy of bingeable stuff available for streaming - but if you have a wedding that’s poised to be bringing together 50+ people to fete your love, then yeah, it is a pretty BFD. Encouraging sentiments like “this too shall pass,” “you can have your wedding another day,” and our all-time favorite, “don’t stress, it’ll be OK,” are kind, but cancelling the biggest celebration of your life is hardly a walk in the park.
This is why the squad is so damn important. Yes, your group of family members, friends, work wifeys, vendors, venue, etc., but also the soldiering sisterhood+deeply-connected community of chicks who are in your boat (the one that feels like it’s straight up sinking) - the brides who you can lean on, learn from, and commiserate with, because this COVID-19 💩-storm is just beyond.
Brides/couples, keep talking...
Not only can it help your stress and preserve your sanity, it might even open up your 👀 to things that can be done [to protect+adapt] your own event. Here were some of things we saw brides sharing about their own wedding plans, and really, whether your own day is digits, weeks, or months away, these open and honest testimonials have the power to calm your nerves, push you to be proactive, and/or motivate you to ask more questions. The rest of your I Do crew (planners, vendors, etc.) is there for you, too, 💯p.
2020 brides, if you’re feeling scared, shocked, angry, resentful, pressured #allofit👇, maybe this is the content you need to see+hear from here on out.
Yuuup, right up there with things no one wants to hear during times of crisis. But keeping a bright side, hopeful, hashtag 🙏🏻 mentality throughout this whaaaat is happppening hiatus definitely does more good than harm, especially when we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. As much as possible, try to stay informed and up-to-date with all of the CDC’s latest cadences and safety measures. But in the midst of quarantine, if you find yourself anxious (who isn’t?), try to find something to distract the overwhelming dread. TV, home workouts, walks outside, lots of wine, coloring books -- don’t judge, I'm 32 and still get sooo much calm from coloring haha.
Trust your team.
Yes, your wedding venue and vendor team would loooove if your wedding stayed where/when it was supposed to - as would we - but this global curveball seemed to have other plans. That said, your nuptials support network is going to try to make things easy for you to navigate this new world, they’ll just need your cooperation and flexibility+an optimistic plan to postpone rather than cancel outright. Many venues are happy to move your wedding date to one later this year, if they have it available, and vendors will often try to operate the same way (so, if they’re free on a date of your choosing, payments can just be applied to the new date+time). It’s very important to remember that wedding pros, event talent, and tastemakers make a living making your event perfect, so you’ll have to understand that their business is in jeopardy right now, too, and you’ll need to be cognizant of contractual clauses, etc. Keeping communication lines open and clear is of premiere priority. As always.
Go with your gut.
Another piece of advice that’s much easier said than done; however, in this novel and completely unprecedented set of circumstances, it can make things pretty straightforward. When it comes to your wedding, think about your family - the ones who will be showing up for you on the special day and the one that you’ll be creating, officially, with your person. A lot right now is uncharted territory, but daily updates like travel bans, curfews, limitations on group gatherings, etc. can make pushing back your date or dramatically altering your OG plan a little more tolerable - it’s RIDICULOUSLY hard to pull the plug on a production you’ve been putting sooo much into for such a long time, but if higher powers are pulling rank, sometimes it’s best just to let them! Several brides have said that with the travel bans, current event mandates, and biggest risks of the virus itself (for their older or immunocompromised guests, family, friends, etc.), the decision-making is still hard, but easier to act on when their nearest and dearest being able to make it to their ‘I Dos’ are considered.
Photo Credit: Jake Pierrelee on Unsplash
Because, again, we wish we had answers, but TBH there really aren’t right or wrongs right now. It’s day by day, person by person, event by event, decision-making and the state of affairs with weddings is already utterly nuanced, so these trying times don't help.
We do feel comfortable saying this, though: Don’t deal with this catastrophic course change by yourself. You have your partner, and, of course, he or she is everything - but you also have your family, friends, your wedding world (the people who want to make your day GD amazing), and the entire community of currently-planning brides to be your confidants and champions. Lean on them, learn from them, and if you need to vent, do it - because it’s definitely a ‘you gotta laugh and commiserate or you’ll cry’ kind of thing.