Photo Credit: Samantha Gades on Unsplash
Guys, we just welcomed the year 2020. WHAT?!?!! Like actually, how did we get here? I’m still feeling like the “year 2000” was just yesterday, and now we’re two decades beyond Y2K. Speaking of things that we freakeeeed out about at the time and then came to realize were no biggie after all, we thought it’d be fun to run through some things that former brides say they stressed TF out about while they were planning and then realized, post-wedding, that they didn’t need to have all those pressuresome, anxious feels. Because they were happily married and that’s all that mattered in the end.
Hindsight is 2020, brides-to-be. So if you can avoid panicking over some of these things (which could give you gray hair for your wedding day - kidding 😉), then absolutely do it. Making sure your officiant makes it to the wedding to, umm, marry you? Important. Stressing over how your wedding party will be introduced? Not that big of a deal. Of course, we’re all well aware of the “I can’t keep calm, I’m getting married” meme, but really, for some things, it’s best to just let the pre-I Do tension go and see what happens. That means leaving weather worries at the door. Mother Nature has a mind of her own, so it’s best just to plan for the worst and hope for the best!
The shoes (and for that matter, your entire ensem overall).
I will be the FIRST to say that pretty wedding shoes make good photos on their own, but heels can be hell. Not even kidding, I had to have my sister crawl under my dress halfway through my ceremony to take off my 4-inch Kate Spade pumps. And I never put them back on, which was totally okay, because you couldn’t even see my feet in our photos. Under my dress, I was a barefoot bride, and it was the best thing ever. If you need to have the thirst trap stilettos for your wedding detail shots, then by all means, do it! But if you can’t deal for the rest of the day, take the damn things off. Live in flip flops. It’s not going to matter.
This also goes out to every bride who has worried about some form of bride shaming over her aisle debut. For instance, I have Type 1 diabetes and wear an insulin pump. On my wedding day, I stressed so much about my pump being visible in pictures or puckering my fit and flare silhouetted dress that I elected not to wear it to my ceremony… Flash forward an hour post-ceremony and my blood sugar was skyrocketing. It just was not a smart choice for me. I was a diabetic bride, and I didn’t embrace all my diabetic self on my wedding day - and it lead to me having to press pause on pictures so I could dose up on insulin and bring my sugar down. At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to show up as your authentic self on the day you get married. Your guests are going to love you and say just how beautiful you are, regardless of your nerves!
The something old, something new obligation.
Oh yeah, borrowed and blue, too. OMG how many of us have spent way too much time poring over these traditional ‘good luck’ nuptial needs? One of the brides we asked said that she couldn’t even remember what her ‘blue’ thing was - maybe a tissue she had shoved down her bra? HAHA. Long story short, if your bridal party can help you out with these things, then great, if not, then don’t worry. You shouldn’t have to be running around like crazy the couple days before your wedding wondering where you can get summa that old, new, borrowed, and blue. And you’re not going to be cursed or forever fouled if you don’t have one or all of them. We promise you!
The first dance.
Okay, yes, it’s your first dance as partners for life, it’s understandable not to want to look like you’re slow dancing in a middle school gymnasium. You can for sure take dance classes, you can absolutely challenge yourself with some crazy advanced choreography, but that said, your guests aren’t expecting you to turn something out like you walked onto the Dancing With the Stars stage. If they get a Kel Mitchell and Witney Carson performance, then 👏👏👏, but in the likelihood that they don’t? Who cares. Your favorite people are still going to be your biggest fans. All they want to see is two people, in love, having fun with each other.
The seating chart.
Easily one of the biggest points of stress and struggle when you’re planning a wedding and getting to the end. In fact, whoever doesn’t need a drink when they’re organizing the people placement for their party seems a little suspicious to us…Who can’t sit with this person, who can’t sit with that person, who can’t sit close to the band, because they can’t not complain, who can’t be eye level with their ex, because bad things will happen, it’s all bulls***, but legitimately+universally worrisome. Take it from brides who were nail-biting-level bothered by their seating arrangements - it’s not going to be a thing on your wedding night. Either your guests will get along, make new friends, take shots with strangers, or they won’t. But it most cases, even if they’re pissed about who they get put with, they won’t bitch about it to you. You’re the bride and they know it’s your night. So, you’ll get a pass. 🙏🏻.
The family drama.
On the subject of unnecessary drama, there are so many reasons to be concerned that your divorced parents might make a scene sometime during the day - especially during photos. There’s always a chance that figurative punches will be thrown, but parents get the picture, they’re mature enough to realize that you just want smiling faces - even if they have to be faked for a little while. All families have their things, their quirks, their relatives who have never nor will ever make nice with each other at events or gatherings. There’s a thing about weddings, though, that can bring out the best behavior in even the biggest troublemakers. So, try not to let potential family problems keep you up at night. If you need to include something in your program or even signage somewhere that alludes to “leaving the drama at home, because today is a day about love,” then do it! Smart guests will keep their mouths shut 👍.Stressing about little ones messing up pictures or staging meltdowns? We get it, but there are always ways to handle kids at the wedding. And sometimes munchkins going rogue is actually the best way to keep things light and laughable! If not, the open bar is open for a whole 4 hours...
I’m pretty sure that I have always freaked out about party favors. For my wedding, for my son’s baptism, for all of it. There’s just something inside me that says “yes, this thing is essential for my guests’ existence/well-being at my wedding.’ Well, listen, it isn’t. Your wedding will be fine without it, should you choose to say f*** it. We love favors and we’ll be the first to stand by you, in solidarity, when you’re losing your mind the month or so before your wedding when you haven’t figured it out yet. Whether you want to do a small treat (edible favors like candy, chocolate-covered anything, macarons, flavored olive oils, mini bottles of champagne, etc. always go over well) or would prefer to make a donation to a charity that’s close to your hearts, any decision will be okay. Your wedding: the great food, the great drink, the fun you provided, the good times had by all - THAT is your favor! Anything else is just icing on top!
Photo Credit: Gavin Penor on Unsplash