Drinking yourself into a blathering fool, micromanaging situations that are not specifically your forte, and complaining about unforeseen circumstances are just a few things to avoid when being closely involved in a wedding. This pertains to parents, best friends, bridal parties, and of course that one crazy aunt/uncle we all have. You basically never want to be the one calling up the bride and groom apologizing the next day for your actions. In lieu of that stern introduction, we have some professional advice from the ones who know the industry best.
Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography and Alicia from Berries and Blush have some great advice on some maybe basic, yet not-so-obvious things to be aware of as a supportive piece during the wedding day. Jaimie forewarns us this may come off harsh, but somebody’s gotta say it.
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen: It’s not about you. Your job today is to be pleasant, cooperative, and supportive.
Complaining: Complaining causes stress on everyone and causes things to run behind. Do not comment that you look fat, pale, etc. in your dress. Do not ask the bride if you should wear deodorant. For the love of all that is holy, please do. Do not complain about who you have to walk down the aisle with. Do not complain about the length of the ceremony. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Please don’t complain: Do not complain about the weather. NO ONE CAN FIX THE WEATHER. If the weather sucks, instead of complaining, tell the bride it’s not that bad and that everything is going to be ok. You are the bride’s pep squad today, not her Debbie Downer squad. No one cares which side is your good side, especially not the photographer. No one is looking at you. You are a background piece and an accessory. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Photo Credit Above: Jaimie Nicole Krause
Keep your thoughts to yourself: I know your intentions are good when you criticize everything the planner or photographer does, but you are not helping. Do not offer suggestions for poses to the photographer. Do not ask the photographer to photoshop you thinner. Do not tell the bride she looks awkward or fat in a certain pose. Do not ask the photographer to Photoshop the bride to make her thinner. Again, you are not helping. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Feed your Bride or Groom: Make sure they eat, and of course make sure you eat. It is going to be a long day and casually slipping on booze can sneak up on you. Having little snacks on you is ideal and will keep you from being late or feeling sick.
Moderate alcohol intake: Do not get inebriated drunk at any point in time. Being obnoxiously drunk is the only thing that will attract attention to you. Puking on the bride’s train or all over yourself is disgusting and embarrassing, and happens way more than you think it does. Don’t sexually harass anyone. If the comment or joke would get you counseled or fired at work, don’t say it here either. If the comment or joke would get you counseled or fired at work, don’t say it here either. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photograph
MY BEST ADVICE FOR BRIDESMAIDS IS NOT ONLY TO SHOW UP FOR THE BRIDE ON THE WEDDING DAY, BUT ALSO THROUGHOUT HER JOURNEY TO "I DO." THERE ARE SIMPLY THINGS THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY AND SUPPORT IS ONE OF THEM. WHETHER IT'S VOLUNTEERING TO RUN ERRANDS THE WEEK OF THE WEDDING OR PLANNING AN EPIC BACHELORETTE WEEKEND THAT THE BRIDE WON'T FORGET, BEING THOUGHTFUL IS A GREAT WAY TO SUPPORT THE BRIDE. - SHALYCE FROM SENSATIONAL SOIREES
Photo Credit Above: Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Fill the cooler up with ice and beverages BEFORE you have to be anywhere for the wedding. Make sure your tux and dresses fit the day you pick it up so there’s time to exchange anything out. Try everything on, including the shirt. Make sure the pants buckles aren’t broken and the shoes fit. Make sure you have the appropriate socks. Bring a change of shoes for the reception if you plan to be out on the dance floor (the bridesmaids already know this one). Have fun and be nice. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Make sure you lay out everything in the one place on the night before - the jewelry, the accessories, the shoes, underwear and dresses, touch up lippie etc. so that in the mad rush of things, you aren’t all screaming at each other trying to find things and therefore adding unnecessary anxiety to the moment. - Alicia from Berries and Blush
Getting Ready: Please know ahead of time what you want for your hair and makeup. Have a photo or pin ready to go for the hair and makeup artist. Do not ask for 3 redos on your hair or makeup. It does not matter, because no one is looking at you. - Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Timing is everything
Watch the time: Bridesmaids / Maids of Honor – it’s your role to watch the time! Being delayed even for fifteen minutes in the morning will affect the timing of your entire day; the time you arrive at the ceremony, the photos, the reception, needing more time for touch ups, the announcement in walking out as husband and wife, the entrée, the first dance, the cutting of the cake… - Alicia from Berries and Blush
Photo Credit Above: Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Mamas and the Papas
Mom: Moms are probably the biggest stress-inducers of a wedding day. Do not dump your problems on the bride. Resist the urge to nag. Do not be passive-aggressive or petty. Do not tell the bride you liked another dress better, prefer her hair a different way, or don’t like her makeup. Do not question her choices or decisions on anything. Do not complain about your hair/makeup/dress. Do not say negative things about ANYONE. Not the bride’s/groom’s family, your ex-husband or his current wife, your other children, or your in-laws. Not the caterer, the florist, the church coordinator, or any other vendor. If you have an issue with anyone or any vendor, save it for another day. If your issue is with the bad behavior of another family member, take your conversation away from the bride and groom. You need to be positive, uplifting, and supportive today. Tell your son/daughter that they look fantastic and that you’re proud of them and you love them. Then go out there, have fun, and be part of the day. -Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Photo Credit: Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
Dad: Relax. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to laugh, laugh. Tell your son or daughter that they look fantastic and that you’re proud of them and you love them. Be civil and kind to anyone there that you might not get along with, including ex-wives and/or their new spouses. -Jaimie Nicole Krause Photography
While all of that might seem slightly petty these things happen and they are stress inducers. An ideal wedding would go as smoothly as possible! Those little things that might seem like a big deal at the time won’t even cross your mind years from now. So with this team behind you as a Bride or Groom let them help you and ask for help if it is needed.
We can see the nerves and stress a bride/groom go through in planning a wedding. Just remember when it comes for time to reflect back on the wedding day, the little things that were missed out on and therefore regrets, are the things that are often remembered. -Alicia from Blush and Berries (Photograph above: Lovely Milestone cards from Berries and Blush)
Disclaimer: None of the Bridal Parties/ Families shown above were complainers, belligerent or obnoxious, just sharing the beautiful imagery from the advice givers.