Photo by: Emma Hopp
Do you think you’ve found the one, your soulmate, the person you’re supposed to marry? Or, does idea that we each have a perfect match out there just waiting to be found seem like the fantasy of someone who’s watched one-too-many romantic comedies?
Curious where people stood on the subject, Shutterfly surveyed 2,057 men and women across the country and asked them about their journey from finding love to their lives after “I do.” 1,027 of the people surveyed were either single or dating, while the other 1,030 were recently married. The results highlighted some very interesting revelations about finding love.
When it comes to love, it turns out, most of us are optimistic we’ll find our person. In fact, 62% of people in the United States believe they will find the one.
How will you know when you’ve found the one and not just another one? Often, people will say, “you just know!” But, for those of us who wouldn’t know love if it hit us over the head with a hammer, there will be a lot of signs.
1. You share the same values
You and your partner will be looking at the same big picture when it comes to what you see for your future together. You may not always agree, but certain things are non-negotiable. It’s okay, though, because The One checks off all those boxes. You know that you’ll agree on the important things like how you’ll raise your children. Your moral compasses both point in the same direction.
2. Your soulmate encourages you to grow
Your partner encourages you, cheers you on, and pushes you when you need it. You’re a better person because of this person is in your life. Likewise, The One is able to succeed because of the support you provide in return.
3. There is no drama or insecurity in your relationship
You don’t worry about a missed text or coming home late. You know your person will always be there for you. You trust each other and resolve conflicts with respect and communication. As they say, you never go to bed angry.
4. You can be yourself
Sure, you like to dress up and have romantic dates, but you are also perfectly content to slob around in your sweats and watch a marathon of your favorite cheesy sitcom without being judged. You never have to hide who you really are. Your perfect match loves your quirks.
5. You’re best friends
You act like a couple, but you can also tease and poke fun at each like childhood friends. You trust each other enough to share everything - good and bad, happy or sad.
The idea that we have a soulmate out there isn’t just reserved for women who wish they had the leading role in their favorite chick-flick, either. It may come as a surprise that 64% of males surveyed think they’ll find the one to marry, while 60% of females are also sure Mr. Right is out there for them.
Some of us, however, believe that finding true love requires more than fate. 38% of the people surveyed admitted that they don’t really believe the one exists.
The notion that there’s just one perfect person out there for each of us can be a hard pill to swallow. In a world of over 7 billion people, it’s almost impossible to imagine there’s only one person out there for each of us. What if he or she lives on an entirely different continent?
This group of people believes that finding a great match requires work and shouldn’t just be left to chance. That’s not to say that a soulful relationship isn’t possible and that you can’t – or won’t – find a deep, lasting connection with a partner.
Finding a perfect match is entirely possible, and it’s up to you in a lot of ways. If you want to attract a deep relationship:
1. Be your true self
Do you hide who you really are in fear of being judged? Do you change who you are because you think your partner will love you more? You can’t expect to have a true relationship with someone if you don’t let them see the real you! Besides that, living your life pretending to be something you’re not isn’t sustainable, and isn’t going to make you happy.
2. Be vulnerable
Put yourself out there, as scary as that sounds. You may have to face some rejection but eventually you’ll find acceptance from someone who loves you for you.
3. Broaden your horizons
Approach lots of people! You may not believe there’s only one person for each of us out there, so why on earth would you narrow your search to just a few?
4. Let go of expectations
You probably have an idea of who your perfect match is, but open yourself up to the possibility that something entirely different might be a better fit.
When it comes to finding true love, there are so many different opinions to acknowledge and appreciate. Whether or not you agree that there is really only the one for each of us out there, we can all agree that finding true love isn’t exactly like it’s portrayed in the movies.
It’s really about finding a person you connect deeply with, someone who will stick by you through thick and thin. Someone who makes sure you’re happy and makes you a better person. Someone you can rely on when things get tough. Once you find that, you’ll be confident you’ve found the person you should marry.