Wedding Chicks

Sooooo, I Don’t Want Some of My Oldest Friends in My Bridal Party


Showing off your new engagement ring.

Being newly engaged is so exciting, you want to shout from the mountain tops! Dun dun dun! Then reality sets in that spreading that news of joy comes along with certain responsibilities, like picking your bridal party. That realization can come with some unnerved feelings of what to do, who to ask, how to ask, and how to drop the bomb that you don't want a certain someone to be part of your wedding.

For some of us picking a bridal party is no easy feat. We have friends who have been a part of our lives for years, and then we have new friends who feel like soul mates and have known for a fraction of the time. You have close family you will also need to take into consideration. So, how do you divide those roles and decided who you want standing by you on your big day.

Key things to remember are you don’t necessarily have to have a bridal party. Although it may seem like a traditional and fun thing to do, not having a bridal party can also speed up the ceremony and leave more time for the reception. Cutting the bridal party out doesn’t mean you don’t have to have your besties help celebrate the occasion, or have them missing from your wedding photos. It is simply a different take on the traditional wedding.


bridal party fail

It's okay to not have a bridal party

It's important to remember is that this day is for you and your spouse. You both can make this decision together. For example, if you have a friend who you have known for 10+ years, yet they don’t really engage in your life as much or care to know much about your relationship with your fiancé then maybe you can take a step back and evaluate whether or not they should be up there with you. This day is to celebrate your love, your future lives together, and the people who come together to make your family complete.

We all have those friends who you might have to cater to a little more than others. Given the fact that you might already be a teeny tiny bit stressed, you may want to avoid putting yourself in a position where you are going to have to be consoling them rather than yourself. It is okay to be selfish on your wedding day, and when it comes to big decisions like this. It is okay to say, “no” to your friends and/or family.

Although you want to try and keep everyone happy, it just isn’t realistic. You are bound to hurt someones feelings in this process, and it is more so about how you approach the situation vs. the actual issue.


crying bridesmaid

You can't please everyone

Some ways to go about addressing the issue is to maybe assign one of those friends to something else. “I would love if you could support us in a different way.” If you have little details that need to be fulfilled, we are sure that they would be happy to help you. Perhaps even having them be an MC would be more fitting. Planning a wedding is difficult, and it takes a village!

Don’t wait too long to deliver the news, you want to be open and honest. Communication is key in making sure that you lessen the blow. The longer they think they might be in the wedding, the harder it will be for them. We know that making these decisions can definitely strike up some anxiety attacks, but take a deep breath and remember that this is just one day in your life. You will make it out alive, just make sure that you are keeping yourself happy and calm through this situation. You want to be able to look back and know that you made the right decision, and that things went smoothly because you did what is right for you and your fiancé.


fun bridesmaid

Pick your friends who will build you up

Moral of the story is to try to pick people who will build you up, make you laugh, and have your back so that you will stress as little as possible. This is just our opinion. Picking your bridal party all depends on where you are in your life. Every situation is different and every dynamic is different. We are all changing and growing together and sometimes apart. Just remember that it is okay to do things how you want to do them. Read some good, yet painfully obvious tips on communication here.  

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