#1. If you can see the end …
It’s already over. If you’ve been together for over 6 months and you can’t see past your day to day, it might be time to move forward. Although this could be a comfortable state, you might end up resenting the other person or more importantly YOURSELF! Give yourself some space to see if you can’t live without them. If you go through a week without desperately missing them, you’ve already got half of the post break-up blues over with. Your future is far more bright than the bleakest break up.
#2. Who are you?
If your besties don’t recognize who you are around this person, maybe reevaluate your comfort level. If your partner saw you smelling your stinky shoe and letting out a massive belch afterward, would they laugh or call you disgusting? If you want to binge watch Vanderpump Rules on a Friday night are they supportive? IF you don’t feel like washing your hair for 10 days, are they judging you? Do they try and learn about all your interests instead of only exposing you to theirs? If you feel in the slightest they are trying to mold or manipulate you into who they want you to be, it’s a RED FLAG. No relationship is worth sacrificing who you are.
#3. The Blame Game
Another red flag: BLAME. If your partner has no shame in their game, blaming you for their sadness and relying on you for their happiness, you will never be fulfilled. You will be in a constant merry-go-round of arguments. Wasted time is all that is. Before settling into something permanent, you have to dig deep and soul search. If that person hasn’t done the same, you’re probably on different levels. You can’t live for anyone else but yourself, and your partner need not rely on you for keeping them feeling good all the time. At the end of this relationship you will ultimately be exhausted and your efforts will be overlooked. Avoid the PTSD and find happiness within yourself, so you can have that confidence to know you are making the right decision when you need to walk away.
#4. Time after time
Wanting to spend time together does not qualify you as a needy companion. Can you both agree on how much time you’d like to spend together? You both have your own lives so things get busy, but keep in mind that your boyfriend/girlfriend WILL absolutely make time if they want to. If it comes to the point where you have that out-of -body experience and think, “Wow I am being so needy?” then you might be overdoing it, but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t want that same amount of time spent together! Just means this person at this time is not the right one. Spare yourself the crazy bitch moments and shouting phone calls and politely excuse yourself from this relationship. ~Timing is everything~!
Obviously we are huge advocates for communicating! We need it in our daily lives within friendships, family, relationships and almost anywhere you go. Communicating with your partner should feel like a huge sense of relief. Someone is engaged in what you are saying, they are helping you with a solution or kindly reassuring you everything will be okay. If you have something on your mind which could be difficult to discuss or initiate, you want your partner to share that same concern. If you get a response like “I don’t want to talk about this right now,” they more than likely don’t care, don’t want to care or have their own issues they need to resolve before committing themselves to making a relationship with you grow + strengthen. Your needs NEED to be met. Never settle. Communication is key and if there is ANYTHING you can’t talk to your partner about count that as a major red flag.
-“Oh, but we have tickets to go to this show in a few months. I can’t break up with him yet.”
-“He/She wants me to go to his family reunion next year, I’ll do it after that”
-“BUT He/She loves me!” (Sometimes love is just not enough)
-“She/He said it was an accident and they’d never hook up with anyone again”
-“She/He didn’t come home because they were drunk, they said they aren’t going to drink anymore."
-“But the sex with he/she is too good”
Those are just 6 of the 23,456,765 excuses we could think of. Stop following your heart for a second and use your brain. I know, it’s hard and it could take a few relationships to get it right. The sooner you realize that you are making up excuses and that the cons outweigh the pros you are headed toward an already healthier and happier lifestyle. If you have to force your relationship, it’s probably sh*t. What standards will you have going into your new relationship?
#7. Shine Bright Like A Diamond
When you feel good, you exude happiness! You shine and it’s contagious. Your partner could play a particular role in that by building you up. No, not creating your happiness, but wanting you to succeed in being the best person you can be. Giving you the space you need to mentally and emotionally grow as an individual and fully loving you for the person you strive to be for yourself and your future. If there are any doubts regarding your partners motives then you’d probably be doing yourself a favor by moving on. What is more romantic than a relationship where you can speak freely, have confidence in your future, share mind blowing/ intimate sex and feel 100% about who you are as a forever growing adult? Never settle for a loser who doesn’t treat you like the rare diamond you are!