Lessons from Lauren Conrad’s Own Wedding Planner
So, since it’s Wedding Wednesday, I thought it’d only be appropriate to talk about Lauren Conrad’s latest podcast episode for “Asking for a Friend.” Today’s interview was with one of Lauren’s closest friends, personal wedding planner, and former bridesmaid, Cassandra Katz of Cassandra Bette Events @cassandrabetteevents, and it was SO GOOD. Not only because Lauren has always been a huge influence on and personal role model to me, but because from what we’ve gleaned over the years, her wedding was stunning, and to hear from the [wedding] chick who helped her make it happen 🙌🙌🙌 yas, yas, yaaaas.
I won’t go into a ton of detail, because if you’re a bride, have a penchant for party-planning, need some advice if you want to host something, but have no idea where to start, or just want to hear two millennial mamas (Cassandra’s legit a newly-minted mama - as in had her twins little over two months ago - and complete baller, we can’t even) talk about weddings and what rules have changed in the game, then you need to listen for yourself. But Cassandra definitely had some tips that we wanted to share as a sort of Fourth of July birthday present to all of our brides.
Food, booze, and music are what most people assume guests care about most…
But really, what they’ll always remember is whether they were hot or cold. So, if you’re a bride getting married this summer, in wicked heat, or a bride with a winter wedding in the wings, be sure you have appropriate planning and wedding programming in place to make the day a success. Whether that means parasols and AC-powered tents for an outdoor wedding or extra wraps, shawls, or cute warming accessories, beverages, etc. for cold-weather vows.
There is and never will be a place for a cash bar.
If you’re trying to pare down costs, then consider nixing the premium bar for a limited selection of beer and wine and perhaps one signature cocktail. Lauren said she once went to a wedding where the booze was “BYOB” (guests were asked to bring their favorite bottle of alcohol or wine, almost like a spirit potluck), and as untraditional as that was, it was still fun and way more acceptable than a cash bar. Both ladies agreed that IF a cash bar is the only thing you’re considering, either remove alcohol from the equation entirely or make damn sure you’re giving guests a hefty heads up (to make sure they bring sufficient funds for their sips and won't be getting completely blindsighted).
There aren’t so clear-cut bridesmaid expectations anymore (because everyone has different financial situations), but there are def ones for the bride.
She needs to be understanding, not resorting to any crazy bridezilla tactics if one or two of her girls can’t attend something or feel like they can’t afford one or more of the pre-wedding events. She also should thank her maids in some way on the big day, if a gift (like a framed photo of she and her bestie) isn’t in the cards, then at least a card, a handwritten outpouring of appreciation, should be.
Kids don’t have to be invited to the wedding, but concessions can be made for mamas.
Both Cassandra and Lauren shared that they didn’t have strong feelings about kid codes at weddings either way (it’s completely their prerogative if the couple wants an adults-only affair, but it’s also totally understandable if a couple can’t make it, because they can’t arrange child care in advance). That being said - they both support making a wedding into an opportunity for date night ((AS DO WE)) - and think that ‘pumping’ suites should become a thing. I can’t say that I’m not beyonddd on board with this, as I pumped and dumped out in my car at one of my closest friend’s weddings, eight months after my son was born. Was a blast…
Destination weddings do have their own set of rules.
So, yes, Cassandra leads from a planning perspective of “the rules for weddings RN are breaking the rules,” but she does caveat that with special considerations for destination I Dos. Couples should invite every guest with a +1 to these types of weddings - the thinking here is that off-the-grid weddings require a lot of extra planning and spending, so it helps to have someone to split the cost of accommodations with. Not to mention, being in a different country, potentially, by yourself, can be hella lonely. Being able to dance and share a daiquiri with a date is pretty clutch.
And if your budget is killing you, here are a few easy cuts that you can make.
The champagne toast - lots of the bubbly goes to waste, anyway, so instead of popping bottles, keep the Veuve Clicquot reserves reserved for something else. Same goes for the cake cutting. Cakes are consistently being phased out for trendier desserts and ones that can come from independent vendors (ones with cotton candy carts, donuts, fondue, etc.). They’re usually less expensive AND aren’t charged any additional fees (like cake-cutting fees) from your venue. That being said, Cassandra still recommends having at least a small sheet cake or even modest mini cake for the photo opps. They're just too cute to lose.
Cassandra and Lauren actually talk about a TON of other event-related how-tos and even some things they second guessed about their own wedding experiences, after the fact. Again, you have to tune in and listen, it’s 40 minutes WELL SPENT, especially if you’re either planning a wedding right now or gearing up to orchestrate another social occasion.
LISTEN NOW! And make sure you’re keeping up with “Asking for a Friend” every Wednesday!!