TG for Cheryl Burke and her “Wifey Wednesday” video the other day. She’s already married to Matthew Lawrence (he still gives me all the 😍😍😍) - as of a few weeks ago - but that doesn’t mean she’s low key forgotten about one of her biggest pre-happily ever after hangups: guests not responding to her wedding on time. Oh yeah, guys, celebs are just like us, they don’t let go easily when it comes to people who haven’t done them the courtesy of RSVP-ing by their deadline date. Can’t say we blame her, either, it’s legit a nightmareeee when you come to your ‘time to get that headcount to the venue’ threshold and you still have a handful of people who are milking that MIA status. I say “handful” of people, but in most cases it’s way more than that.
Listen, guests, it’s not a good look for you. Your friends or family members have included you in their oh-so special day, and, in return, all they’re asking for is your RSVP (maybe plus a few other good guest things, too). Granted, if you’re suuuuper close with the couple, they probably have a pretty clear idea of whether or not you’ll rise to the on-time occasion, but you’ll want to surprise them regardless. ((It’s great when you’re able to say “HAHHH, I know you thought I wouldn’t, but whose RSVP is that over there? MINE!! No bitching, pleaseee”))
Sure, we’d love to say that it should be a very adult thing to adhere to good wedding etiquette at 20, 30, 40-something, but it’s also a crazy popular adult move to be lazy and inconsiderate AF, defaulting to “Oh, s***, I’ve been soooo busy, I totally forgot.” Don’t be that person, because LBH, you hate that person. Flaky people 👎.
Inspiration: Basic Invite
Want to be a baller guest, from the get-go? Here’s how to do it!
Oh, and we’ll keep these short, because really, they’re basic rules for just being a good person.
Quick turnaround time.
You’ve probably already gotten a save-the-date, so when the wedding invitation shows up, you shouldn’t be shocked about any of it (where, when, etc.). Chances are, you’ve already talked to your S.O. (if you have one!) about whether you’ll be going, made arrangements for your dog or children (if they’re not invited), and have a secure game plan in place for the party. If you haven’t yet, then hold tight, but if you’re 100p either way - on accepting or declining - then just fill out your response card, with check marks and names where they’re needed, slip it back into the response envelope (nine out of 10 times, it has pre-paid postage on it, so you don’t have to deal with that) and mail that baby out right away.
Keep it in the car.
This is actually something my sister told me she does. She’s gone to three or four weddings in the last year and has several in her social cal for the remainder of 2019, so RSVP-ing is part of her regular routine at this point. In any case, she’s got a pretty hefty stack of response cards in her center console, so whenever she goes to the post office, she has no excuse if she can’t drop them off in bulk. There’s another thing here, too; if she’ll be seeing her friends or family on one-off circumstances, she’ll bring along the response card and give it to them, IN PERSON. Yes, as mentioned, the response cards typically come with postage - so couples expect they’ll be getting most in their mailbox - but sometimes an in-person delivery is even nicer. Fringe benefit: the card will maintain its integrity, too! No postal service scratches, bends, or rips!
Provide the bride with (reasonable) updates.
We say reasonable, because no bride wants crazy amounts of texts/emails/etc. in the last few weeks/month before her wedding. But if she’s one of your besties (perhaps you’re even in her bridal party; yes, you’re still responsible for sending in an RSVP, you’re not excused), a close family member, colleague, then give her status updates. Tell her you’ve received the invite and will be getting your mailed response out ASAP - and that means on time. In the interim, if she has a wedding website set up, with an option to RSVP on site, then submit your response as a preliminary measure. You’ll still have to send in the paper RSVP by their deadline, but this is a great first step, it shows you’re paying attention.
If you question your own ability to get it done, in a timely manner, then either set a reminder (or a few) in your phone, well in advance of the RSVP date, or just tell the bride to send you a quick tech nudge. Like we said earlier, she might even expect tardiness from you, and preemptively do it on her own with a “Hey girl, just an FYI to get that response card in the mail if you haven’t already, don’t want to have to throw shade your way anytime soon 😜!” But you can show that you’re proactive and self-aware, if you can send her a note to remind you before she starts stressing.
Oh! And if the couple getting married goes digital…
They've done you a SOLID. Some couples know how much of a pain in the ass it is to respond to weddings and, instead, decide to send out online invitations so RSVP-ing is even that much easier. If this is the case, and you legit get a beautiful online invitation suite, don’t even close the window before saying YES or NO. It can’t get any simpler than this, so do you part and keep that baller guest status in check!