So, as I was considering what I should write about today, I sneezed… one of those gross, sticky, snotty sneezes that get all over the computer (yes, being REALLLLL honest RN) - and you reach for a tissue, but the box is empty kind of sneezes. And voila! #inspiration. I’ve been sick with a cold given to me by my baby boy (play gyms with toddlers are like ground zero), and in my stuffed up moments of misery, with a migraine literally sucking the life out of me, I’ve wondered what brides do if their best day ever just happens to coincide with the plague.
It’s a very scary thought, and one that I worried about in the weeks leading up to my own wedding. I’m not a pretty or smart sick person. I blow my nose until it’s raw, I wait wayyy too long to take any medication, so I stupidly let myself suffer, and when I should be resting and sleeping it off, I instead lay in bed with my phone in hand, scrolling through Instagram. If I was sick on my wedding day, it would have been the absolute worst - so I took necessary precautions to ensure that didn’t happen.
First things, first - stay away from all the sickiesI remember getting a stomach virus a few years back, because one was going through my office like rampant - and I have the worst luck! In the weeks leading up to your big day, if you spot anyone in the office with the sniffles or hear, smell weird things happening in the bathroom (yes, gross), try to remove yourself from the germs as much as possible. Tell your boss that you can handle your work from home, and stay far away from the water cooler. Make sure you’re popping extra Vitamin C daily, and if you have a niece or nephew who you love snuggling with, maybe take a raincheck on those playdates, because kids are THE germiest.
But when the avoidance doesn’t exactly pan out, the daily Emergen-C and Airborne drug doses fail at boosting your immunity, and all the 🤞🙏 in the world don’t work, and you’re 🤮🤒🤢😵 the day you’ll be saying ‘I Do,’ it’s all about making the most of it. And making sure it’s not a TOTAL s***show… literally, 💩happens so to save yourself from getting I’m-soooo-sick stains on that stunning dress of yours, you’ll probs want to read up!
Push back your timeline/move things aroundThis is where all that amazing communication with your vendors comes in. Because you’re going to want an extra hour or two of sleep if you’ll be rallying all day. Call your photographer, your glam squad, and your florist and see if they can push back their start/delivery times the morning of your wedding. If you have a great relationship, you can probably send them a mess of ‘I’m ill AF’ emojis - with a plea to delay things a bit, and they’ll be able to decode. And yes, your ceremony time is kind of set in stone, but if you need to ask your officiant to cut out a few readings to keep things moving quickly - so you can exchange vows, put rings on each other, and smooch before running out to vomit, then definitely do it!
Make sure you’ve got meds
Yes, you don’t want to be doped up for your ‘I Dos,’ but there’s nothing wrong with sticking to a structured dosing schedule to help you get as close to 💯 as possible throughout the day (LBH, you probs won’t be anywhere near 100p). That means going a little above and beyond with your emergency kit. Bobby pins, deodorant, double-sided tape, and lots of over-the-counter pills and poppables. Tylenol or Advil for headaches, Tums, Pepcid AC, or Alka Seltzer for heartburn, Pepto for tummy bummers, Benadryl, Dayquil, Sudafed and Robitussin for congestion and coughs. And you’ll want to stock the non-drowsy versions of all, if they’re available, because you won’t want to be gassing out when you’re getting ready to walk down the aisle, taking pics after the ceremony, or processing into the reception with your bridal party.
See if your makeup artist can revive your pretty
There’s nothing worse than needing to look pretty when you’re feeling like utter and complete hell on Earth. Your face can look flawless underneath perfectly-airbrushed makeup, but as soon as you need to blow your nose or start wiping those beads of sweat from your fever-fraught face, that contoured complexion will be going full-on hot mess. That’s why you’ll need to try, as best you can, to avoid blowing that nose. If you need to snort some Afrin, just to clear yourself out, then so be it (just don’t use more than necessary, if you’re totally clogged on your wedding day, you’ll be hating yourself)! If you give your MUA a heads up that you’re not living your best life, hopefully she’ll come armed with some hydrating balms, skin depuffers, moisture-packed lip treatments, and fresh peachy colors to perk up that sallow semblance you most definitely have. Wouldn’t hurt to ask if she could stay on or come back after your ceremony to touch you up - because being sick shows all over your face.
Antidiarrheals are your best friendWhether you’re feeling food poisoned or just have a killer 24-hour bug, you won’t want to leave the vicinity of the toilet, but guess what, you kind of have to. So, make sure your first defense includes lots of antidiarrheals. #thehandsthatbind, right? That dress deserves a lot more than a run-in with the runs. Make use of every opportunity to use the bathroom before the ceremony and before heading into the reception. And if you have to tell your photographer (discreetly) that you need a bathroom break, then do it up. Of course, it’s not really easy disrobing from your wedding gown to tackle the toilet, but we have some clues on how to do it. You’ll also need to swap those morning mimosas for some clear liquids and electrolytes. No one really feels like getting tipsy when they’re tripping to the toilet every 5 minutes, but for real, if you’re playing ‘fast and loose’ that day, be sure you’re staying hydrated - sipping water, broth, fruit juice (sans champs) or Gatorade in small amounts between meals. The sports drink replaces salt, potassium, and other electrolytes you’re eliminating when you’re pooping, and it’s game day, so why not?
Your girl squad’s got your back
Sure, bridesmaids don’t usually sign on for sickness, but you’re their girl, so they’re going to go all out to make sure you’re not a drippy, sniffly, hurl-smelling disaster for your new spouse (and yourself! #bridepride). They’ll obvi not be too happy about playing rock-paper-scissors shoot to find out who’s holding hair back, who’s on dirty detail, (probs the worst, won’t lie), who needs to watch the clock for meds administering, etc., but they’ll do it, because they’re the best bridesmaids ever. They’ll also probably give up some of their glam time so that you can sleep in a little longer, and make a call over to your favorite deli to order up some chicken soup because you can’t fathom dining on your 4-course plated meal. Chances are they’ll be hatinggggg you a few days from now, when they’re bedridden, but maybe it’s a blessing? Kind of like tossing the bouquet, right? Whoever voms first will be the next bride!Helps, too, if you have a bridesmaid who’s preggo. As someone who had RIDICULOUS morning sickness when pregnant with my son, I got used to throwing up multiple times a day for 3-4 months. I know what my triggers were, I know what helped me with the nausea (I loved smelling lemon tea, and it stands to reason that any bride would love her bridal suite to be lemon-scented versus all the lovely hair spray and perfume vapors), and I still keep some preggy pop drops close by - #notpregnant, in case you were wondering. The ginger and essential oils-packed lozenges are everything, consider them like a Tic Tac before walking down the aisle. You want sweet breath to kiss your S.O., and you also don’t want to puke on the both of you at the altar. Win win!
You’ll be able to get through the day, we promise you! Just remember, your new hubby/wifey will still think you’re beautiful, even if your photos turn out crappy. So, try your best just to power through it, and ask your venue/caterer if they can doggy bag some of that delicious reception food. You’ll definitely want to dig in once your appetite comes back!
Maybe just wait to consummate the whole thing… after all, you have a honeymoon to look forward to. Your partner would gladly hold off until then 😉.
Front page teaser photo courtesy of Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.