We’ve all been there—everything is going great, you seem to be on the same page about everything, and (best of all) they actually seem really cool. You spend a few hours perfecting your pitch package, and you can already see it coming to life in your head. Now, all that’s left to do is iron out the details and get them booked. But then…
Silence.
You’ve been ghosted, and it’s not the first time. But why?
They contacted you. They LOVE your work. Then they disappeared.
As unsexy as it is, the #1 reason that couples ghost vendors is simple. You’re probably out of their budget. So why not just say that? Well, there are a few reasons.
Imagine you’re at a vibey new restaurant that you’ve seen all over IG. You finally got a rez, and you can’t wait to check it out IRL. They don’t post the menu online, but from the photos, you just know it’s going to be amazing. You sit down they hand you the menu. It’s so hard to choose, everything sounds incredible, so you order a little bit of everything to share, but you don’t go too crazy. Oh, but we forgot to mention the menu doesn’t have prices. Once you place the order, but before the food arrives, the chef (yes, the artist themselves) arrives with the bill. They leave it there on the table. It’s 4x what you thought it would be. Worth it, maybe, but it’s out of the question. Your card would literally get declined. You could make a scene and explain to the chef you can’t afford all of the food you were just so excited to order, then stand up and awkwardly walk out as the judgemental stares burn a hole in the back of your heads. Or…you could wait for the chef to turn their back, act like you’re “going to the bathroom” or “get something from the car”, and ghost it the F— out of there and never look back.
Which one would you choose? Be honest.
Now, we’re not saying that it’s right, we’re saying it’s human. But that doesn’t make it any easier for the chef or you in this situation. You are an artist and a business person. You’re juggling life, a family, bills, just like everyone else. When couples ghost a vendor, it’s a lose/lose situation.
So how can it be avoided?
We’ve established the why. Couples aren’t ghosting you because they’re rude, flaky, or uninterested. They’re ghosting because something about the inquiry process has made it easier to disappear than to respond.
More Transparency
We know that’s asking a lot, especially when there are so many unknowns in wedding planning. How are you supposed to give someone a price before you even know what they’re asking for? It would be like running a restaurant without a menu. Instead, customers come in, describe their dream meal, and expect you to make it from scratch. You haven’t sourced the ingredients, you’ve never made that exact dish before, and you have no idea how long it will take to prepare. So how could you possibly put a price on it before you know what’s involved?
Unfortunately, there is no one, right answer. To nip budget misalignment in the bud, some vendors list a starting point or even an average price range. Phrases like “starting at” or “average” don’t lock you into anything, but they can help couples get a general idea of how much your services cost.
Time is $ For Both Sides
Wedding planning is a full-time job, for the vendors, and yes, for the couples too. A lot of vendors ask couples to set up a consultation before answering some basic questions. Remember your work hours are probably their work hours too, but unlike you, they’re having to take time off work for the consultation. Couples don’t necessarily want a 30-minute discovery call to find out whether your services start at $2,000 or $10,000 or that you don’t do destination weddings, etc. So to avoid wasting your time, and theirs, there are some things better addressed on an FAQ page.
They’re Seeing Other People
Keep in mind that couples are contacting multiple vendors at once. You’re one of six photographers or four florists they’re researching. Once they’ve found their match, they may not think to respond to every other conversation. They don’t quite understand that at the other end of that proposal email is an artist that has already put a lot of heart and soul into designing their dream day. To make it easy and less awkward, consider putting buttons on your proposal: “Love it, let’s do it!” “Sorry, we went with another vendor”. To put it in wedding terms, think of it like a pre-stamped RSVP card, it just makes everyone’s lives a lot easier.
| Instead of… | Try… |
| Hiding all pricing | Publish starting prices or realistic ranges |
| Requiring a call immediately | Share essential details before suggesting a call |
| Sending a generic template | Answer their actual questions first |
| Following up repeatedly without adding value | Send one helpful follow-up with a clear next step |
| Asking why they disappeared | Make it easy to decline without embarrassment |
| Assuming every inquiry is ready to book | Recognize that some couples are still researching |
Even if you do everything right, ghosting is going to happen, it’s the nature of the beast. All we can control is how we react to it and try to make the alternative as pain-free as possible for everyone involved. So brush yourself off and get back out there because there’s another couple right behind them, and maybe this one was meant to be.
We’re not just for couples. For more vendor tips and advice, be sure to give us a follow @weddingchicks on IG and Join our Gather community to get a beautiful vendor directory listing, plus exclusive insider tips, tools, and resources to help your business grow.
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