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Getting married is a wonderfully exciting experience. Full of hope, anticipation and elation. But also table plans, over-elaborate flower displays and a feeling of pressure that everything must be 100% perfect. Getting married again tends to be a little different. Lessons have been learnt, individuals have grown and remarriages can often be so much richer and calmer – a safe comforting harbor after the possible turmoil of a relationship that didn’t work out as expected.
If you are considering getting married again, there are some things that you should consider before you begin the next phase of your life. Let us take a look at these.
Custody Matters
If either of you have young children, it’s a good idea to have a discussion around the matter of custody and living arrangements as soon as possible once you decide to get married or move in together. If either partner is unwilling to be a full-time (or nearly full-time) stepparent to the others’ children, it may mean that a future together is difficult.
Also to be discussed are the expectations of older children and even adult offspring living away from home. Some families automatically gather at the weekends, while others find this a trial and only get together once or twice a year.
Financial Entanglements
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Talking about money can be awkward, but no one should go into a marriage – or even a living arrangement – without knowing exactly where they stand financially. Older ladies sometimes feel that it is traditionally a man’s job to handle the finances, but it’s important for everyone to understand the very basics of financial management and their joint situation.
Different people have different ideas about what constitutes acceptable credit: with some paying cash for everything and tightly controlling any debt in the home, while others are happy to run up credit and pay it off over time.
Of course, having outstanding debt is no reason to refuse to marry someone, but honesty about how much is owed and how soon it could be cleared is a must. Ideally, anyone would wish their new marriage to begin with a clean slate and no or few debts, so having the discussion is something that should not be skipped or postponed for too long.
Religious or Political Issues
They do say that no one should discuss money, politics or religion, but when one is going to be married and live in close proximity to someone, complete with fully-formed ideas about the latter two, it is best to make sure that your physical and emotional connection is not about to be disrupted by finding out that your partner holds incompatible political or religious views to yourself. While some religions are tolerant of non-believing partners, others insist on conversion to that religion or this may be a personal preference of the spouse-to-be. In either case, it is best to know in good time to be able to consider all the options before you are too committed to being married.
Declutter Your Lives
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Almost all relationships, even the ones that don’t work out, have their good moments, and it is for these nostalgic moments that many people cling to items that symbolize those good times. These items can be clothing items, special photographs and, of course, jewelry, especially the wedding and engagement rings. While it is very understandable to want to cling to the good memories and happy times, it is unreasonable to expect a new partner to be accept visible reminders of a previous relationship. Take photographs off display and perhaps tuck them into a private photo album and lock up sentimental treasures in a safe out-of-the-way place for those memory lane days. While keeping one or two good pieces of jewelry might be acceptable to a partner, clinging onto the nuptial rings can be a warning sign that you are not fully over the previous marriage and that you are not quite ready to move on.
If you are committed to the remarriage, selling your old rings can deliver a windfall which can be invested into your new partner and the life you will soon be sharing together? Selling an engagement or wedding ring carries a huge emotional weight, but if you rush the process you may not get a fair price. Finding the right buyer can make a huge amount of different to the price you are paid, which means more money to spend on creating new memories. A quick google search for diamond buyers near me, or something similar will soon put you in touch with online jewelry sites that will help you on that journey. And once that is done, you and your new partner can invest in new pieces that will be infused with your love and enthusiasm for each other, casting a life-long blessing over your new relationship and marriage.
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