Am I a Brat for not Liking my Engagement Ring and What Should I Do?
It’s pretty certain that when anticipating a proposal you are giddy with excitement, flustered with curiosity, and overwhelmed with the idea of the beginning of your new adventure together! So when kneeling before you with this gift of eternal love what happens if you look down and your ring just isn’t you?
Friends, your engagement ring is something that you will potentially have to wear for the REST. OF. YOUR. LIFE. (hopefully). You want to wear it proudly, and you want this bling to represent you. It may seem like a superficial thing, but in all honesty it is probably going to be hard to mask the terror on your face … JOKING. For real though your future life partner is probably solely focused on making you happy so facing the disgruntled truth may be a little easier than you think.
So we’ve taken the time to ask some of our closest girlfriends what they would do? How do you muster up the courage to tell your beloved that this thing just needs to go … or do you see past the ugly truth and love him for putting in the effort?
Enjoy the moment!
You just got ENGAGED! This is huge, this is step 1, this is love! Regardless of your dissatisfaction enjoy that moment, take it all in and remember how blessed you are to soon be a Mrs. to the love of your life. Enjoying the moment, might possibly lessen the blow when presenting him/her with the truth later. Perhaps you will even fall in love with the ring. You never know.
Find The right time
Once the dust has settled and you both are alone you can sweetly, and gently let them know. You could begin with something like, “I love that you took the time to pick out this ring for me, but do you think we could go together and pick something different out?” or you could say, “Would you mind if I added something to this ring? That way it can be ours, it will be special, and it will be our creation.” If they’re upset, make it clear that your intention wasn’t to offend them, but that you want the ring to be a reflection of your relationship together, and it would be sweet to design/choose something else together. Timing is crucial. You don’t want to ruin the proposal, but you want to mention it soon enough so they don’t feel like you’re being dishonest.
Take initiative.
A good amount of us have already discussed our future plans with our significant others before actually getting engaged. There is nothing wrong with dropping some subtle or not so subtle hints about what you have had in mind. We have no shame, email him your Pinterest board. When you are out together, and walking by your local Zales maybe you can peruse the window and point out your favorites. There is also nothing wrong with going ring shopping together, some of our partners might even prefer that. Takes a lot of stress off the two of you.
Real Advice
Here are a few things that our friends candidly said when asked how they would have handled the situation:
“I don't know if I would be too upset I would try to see past the material side I think it's the thought that really matters but the guy probably put his whole heart in picking out something but I think a good way to avoid a god awful ring is drop hints! Like a tone of hints I would be mega obvious”
“Say ‘I don't like it’, not right away, but later find a way to say it's uncomfortable or you really wish it had more this or less of that and then you guys can choose to change it”
“Cry” Disclaimer: It’s okay if you cry out of excitement, but please don’t cry because the ring is hideous.
“It’s better to speak up, otherwise the dislike grows.”
“I'd probably try to get fat fingers so I could change it, but be sure beforehand to hint really hard about what I wanted.”
“I would say, ‘the ring you picked out is beautiful and the sentiment behind it is the most important thing but I would love it if we could design something together that reflects my personal style since I'm going to be wearing it every day.’”
So the moral of this story is to not be scared and to speak up either before or after. You are a team now, and working together + communication is greatly appreciated. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you would definitely want to know if they weren’t completely satisfied. Also, this isn't about how BIG the diamond is, but just making sure your new shiny accessory is suitable for your everyday life. Plus Tiny Engagement Rings Are Kind of Having A Big Moment right now!
